The antidote to this is building our self-worth through self-love and self-compassion. It means we accept our human imperfection and we embrace it. When we struggle in our relationship or our family life or our work or career or anything else, we often feel bad, beating ourselves up thinking it should be some other way. And yet, what other way is there? It is perfectly human to have those struggles. We all have them. Name one person who’s had the perfect life who never struggled in any way. There is no one. Our shared human experience is that being human is imperfect. And that’s okay. We learn to see our worth just the same, not based on where we are on a scale we’ve imagined for ourselves, but just because. We accept ourselves as we are, not because we’ve accomplished something and proven something to someone, but just because. We love ourselves just because.
Self-esteem is an external thing that is based on a sort of competition with others; forget about that. It’s a trap. Work on self-worth instead. Because seeing our own value is the only way to make peace with ourselves. It is what will set us free from this matrix of competition and separation. It is what will drive us to be in touch with the most vulnerable part of ourselves that need the most attention.